How to Grow a Love Relationship

Start by not looking for it.

This should be the end of the matter, but 
when the pivot happens and the words 
you used to use to describe the colors 
in the world seem inadequate, and 
frisson shivers you on a cloudless day 
and it feels like your mind has become
a lightning rod to inspiration and 
it becomes necessary 
to go forward, still, compelled 
by inexplicable forces that move
the stars that are behind the stars, 
and you feel moved by an invisible 
Trav-o-lator down a concourse of 
radiant butterflies, iridescent hummingbirds, 
pungent roses, rainbows, and lolling unicorns
and you need a completely new vocabulary, 
because even the word, LOVE, seems tinny--
STOP!
Take a breath.
And continue.
But slowly.

In your new lexicon, use words and phrases 
such as Hope, Friend, Being Present, 
Listen, Hugs, Yes And--, 
Tell Me, Serenity, Laughter, 
I’ll Wait, Teach Me, and Joy. 
Use all these words and listen 
more than you speak. That feeling 
of searching for the best ways to find 
loving expression for your
person is your new currency, 
your new path, 
your new way.

Yes, listen.
Ask, then listen closely.
And look. Observe, see, then remember.
The one you love is a miracle of creation 
whose ancestors sacrificed for her to be 
with you on this day and she is sustained
by a universe of nutrition, oxygen, healthcare, 
loving family, endearing relationships, 
healed scars, sleep, surging, pumping blood, 
and aspirations. She has already been aided 
by unseen, unknown forces beyond all 
comprehension, and 
this too is miraculous.

Also, say a prayer of gratitude.
Thankfulness serves as a foundation 
upon which each loving act gets placed.

Then, allow for mystery.
You control nothing. 
What you presume caused this love relationship 
in reality lies beneath layers of hidden reasons 
for which you will never know. 
Get used to not knowing this 
and get used to living in the mystery. 
Get used to living knowing that each gifted day 
is a forever moment of Now.
And you have only the Now. 
As you grow in the Now, 
it grows Life, and 
without Life there is no Love 
because Love and Life are the same.